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Fear is not fun (no kidding, right?!); but fear is a gift. Fear is an emotion that is designed to help us. It basically overrides the thinking part of our brain – the prefrontal cortex – so that we can react quickly. Those reactions fall into 3 categories: fight, flight or freeze. Fear is the thing that makes us quicken our step if we are walking in a dark alley. It’s the thing that gives us the adrenaline to run if a bear is headed our way!
Even though most of us aren’t faced with bears very often in today’s world; we get afraid of things that might happen or might not happen. We get afraid of what people might think…or not think about us. We get afraid of being known….and petrified of being ignored and/or abandoned. Unfortunately, although these types of things are not “life-or-death” situations, our brains still register them as fear and respond in the fight, flight or freeze way. Our “thinking brain” is overridden. For the most part, the reactions are on a much smaller scale and we can usually calm ourselves down – which allows us to think about the situation. Sometimes this is fast and we may not even be aware that we are doing it. Other times, it is harder and takes more time.
A certain amount of this is normal. It becomes “disordered” when the fear is irrational and or when it’s a pervasive pattern. The result is that we can’t really calm ourselves down enough to think – to challenge the the rationality of the fear. In these situations, when the brain is in that override position consistently, it results in symptoms such as: edginess and/or irritability, fatigue, loss of concentration, muscle tension and trouble sleeping. When it has reached this point, and is happening more often than not, for a period of at least 6 months, it has become “disordered”.
Disordered merely means that it is interfering with regular functioning. Those of us who struggle with this level of anxiety, need help getting our brain out of constant overdrive. Accomplishing this will look different for each person – since each brain is unique. Some may need medication to help get their brain chemistry in order. This may be short-term or long-term – again, depending on the individual. Mindfulness, meditation, prayer, and exercise can also help calm the brain. Cognitive behavioral therapy not only helps us understand the underlying causes of the fear; but also facilitates challenging the rationality of the fear. These kinds of changes do not occur overnight. It takes time and effort to re-train the brain.
If fear has become a way of life, it is important to know that it doesn’t have to stay that way. There is hope. Find a therapist (we’d love to help!) to help walk through the process. You and your brain won’t regret it!
Take care of you…
