Photo by jjfgg on Pixabay
Halloween is tomorrow. Whether you are getting dressed up, going out or staying home to give out candy (Chocolate – yum! One for them…one for me…two for them…two for me…) , it can be a fun time. It’s always enjoyable seeing the younger children in their costumes; and interesting to see what characters they chose to be. It probably says something about who they are or who they want to be.
Hasn’t this always been part of the fun of Halloween: getting to be something/someone different than you are for just a night? Remember the excitement of picking out a costume? (What are you going to be for Halloween this year?!) Remember the fun of getting into character and heading out to collect pounds of candy. (Trick or Treat?! No one ever actually did a trick so what the heck does that actually mean anyway?) Remember too, the relief of coming home and getting out of the costume and back into normal clothes or pajamas again. Aaah…good to back into my own skin again. (And did I say there was chocolate?!)
The characters and costumes were only fun because we got to choose when to put them on and when to take them off.
But what about the masks that we tend to we tend to wear – all day every day – when we aren’t feeling well. Whether it be physically or emotionally, when we aren’t feeling well, there is pressure to “put on a happy face.” For various reasons, this can often become so automatic that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. When this happens, we lose touch with our insides. We can tell you what’s on our “to do” list, or maybe we can tell you we’re “tired” but we can no longer identify what’s going on in our heart.
This is not to suggest that we go in to work and tell them every hard thing going on in our world…or go around looking miserable all day. It is to suggest that we need to become aware that we are doing it so that we can choose – with safe people who have earned the right – to take off the mask…to experience that end of Halloween night feeling when you come home and get out of your costume and into your own skin.
It is exhausting to be a different person on the outside than you are on the inside all the time. Not only that, but when you hide the pain, fear, and (insert favorite negative emotion here) behind a mask, you don’t see the world for what it is (think trying to see properly through those plastic Halloween masks that never lined up with your eyes!). We might cover up the negatives but that creates a “numbness” that steals joy too. Can you start to see the vicious cycle?
One of the things I (Michelle) loved about my own experiences with counseling, was this feeling of relief…of being able to take off the mask. Today, this is one of the things we love about the work we do. We strive to be a safe place where you can take off your mask and get back in touch with your own heart again.
Take care of you…
