Sometimes it’s easier to define something by starting with what it isn’t.
Counseling is not merely:
A crutch
Something that only ‘weak’ or ‘crazy’ people use.
Advice (i.e. a place where someone tells you what to do)
That being said, counseling can indeed be these things some of the time.
If you broke your leg, you wouldn’t not use crutches because they are for weak people. Sometimes for a period of time, we need a crutch while we heal. If we are completely honest, we all feel ‘weak’ or ‘crazy’ at times – and yes, counseling can help during those times. And sometimes, advice is warranted…again, when we are feeling at our worst –overwhelmed by life – sometimes, the thing we need most is for someone to help us know what to do next.
Now that things are as clear as mud, let’s try to talk about some of the things that counseling actually is.
Counseling is, first and foremost, a relationship. The origin of the word counselor comes from language meaning to advocate. When you see a counselor, you are seeing someone who is there to advocate – someone to be on your side – someone who wants the best for you. To that end, counseling is a ‘soft place to land’ – a place where you can find deep compassion for whatever you are struggling with.
Counseling is also a place to learn about yourself. Counselors are trained to help you think about how you think, why you think it, how that thinking makes you feel and what you do when you feel that way. Most of us don’t often take the time to think about how we think. We either accept those thoughts as a ‘given’ (That’s just me), or we may not even know what we think – we might just know what we do or how we feel. Counselors help you learn about yourself and link all these things together. We can’t begin to heal or grow until we understand and acknowledge what we need to grow through.
Once we understand, what we feel, think and do and why we think, feel and do it…we need to take action steps to change. Counselors are there to help you take the often scary baby steps towards living in a new way. We are your biggest cheerleader…and again, a soft landing when things don’t go as well as we would like.
Ultimately, counseling is a comfort zone, where we can learn to live an emotionally healthy life (more on that later!).
Take care of you…
